Buonanotte The Second
by TharaCorleone
Summary: A sequel to 'Buonanotte Signor Maiale' which reflects on the events of its predecessor. Involves FabioxAniki.


Trauma can make a man do unusual and unforgivable things. Very unusual and very unforgivable things.

Every other Montana is in bed and resting well, having nothing to fear in their sleep except perhaps a surprise attack from opposing families or clans. Me...I'm laying awake at this very second, having not dared to try and go to sleep incase tonight is one of those nights and my dreams take me back to that night on some horrible, nostalgic trip. And when I say that night, I mean the night where I went ahead and gave Tino a taste of his own medicine, _not_ the night many people would deem to be 'Fabio Abuse'. Most people wronged by him, by Tino, would announce it as the best thing in the world but on that night, I almost lost a friend (si, I do somewhat consider him a friend) and fellow gangster. We all did- even in my deluded state, I never would have gone as far as death but he could have been so affected on a psychological level that Don would have had to kick him out onto the street because the Family wouldn't have been able to handle him. Though that could just be my guilty conscience talking, trying to really run it home that I did a bad, bad thing and not even the aspect of revenge justifies it.

Eck...my throat's so dry and scratchy right now, and all the nervous swallowing probably hasn't helped. I could take a trip to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water but first step upon those stairs and they'd all ask what I was planning to eat and how much. Even after nearly two years, they still don't trust me around unscheduled food (you wouldn't believe the looks I get for simply reaching for a second breadroll at dinner) but I don't blame them- I really piled on the pounds in my trauma-induced insanity to pose as Jimmy, who I think is still a little sore after all this time about the fact that I thought him to be so big. I don't mean to be rude but he should pay more attention when he looks in the mirror, he's a big man and he knows it. No wonder Davina said it wasn't going to work...ok, that's unfair of me. Davina's a lovely girl and she isn't shallow one bit but an exercise instructor and a guy of Jimmy's, ahem, _size_ were always going to cause some problems, especially with heads as strong and as stubborn as theirs. Besides, he always had too much of a love affair with food to be forced away from it...you should see the looks given when _he_reaches out for a second breadroll at dinner. No one seems to care, which does seem a little unfair. It seems to get more, you need to be more and that's in the gut department. You don't use the word fat if you want to stay alive.

Anyway, they wouldn't allow me out of the Palace for a good few weeks whilst I worked off my weight, aided by my amichetto himself as he seemed desperate to get the old me back. I thought he might have made some comment about there being more of me to love but it hit me that there was nothing he could love about me at that moment, that my current state of mental instability seemed to have knocked his heart unstable as he saw me not as me but as this crazed lunatic who seemed hungry for revenge. I personally didn't think I'd gone too far compared to how Tino had left me but it seemed that proportion was far too heavy against my favour and I've realised that since then. Maybe a man of my time was never meant for such an age...what the cazzo am I on about. Never mind, moving on.

As I stare into the dark space ahead contained in the four walls of our bedroom, I find myself quickly glancing at Aniki beside me, smiling in his sleep. I'm glad one of us can drift off into a peaceful slumber. Though to be fair, he found it impossible to sleep during the days following the incident, initially refusing to believe what he'd seen and having relied on holding onto my plus-size self for dear life in a bid to fight off any 'demons'. There was many a night to come spent laying awake and stroking his hair as he gently tossed and turned, muttering Japanese in his troubled sleep. To this day, I still don't know what he'd been saying but the frantic tones meant he certainly wasn't singing and dancing about it.

But he's still smiling now, his hand reaching over as if trying to scout me out. I respond by gently placing his hand on my cheek, which he begins to stroke as if by affectionate instinct. They say it takes time for wounds to heal but our relationship seems to be scar-free if my amichetto's lack of hesitation around affection means anything. Hmmm...his hand's cold. I guess the winter chill that comes this time of year is getting to him.

I'm trying not to think of Tino during any point of this. Si, I still feel really bad for what happened but everytime I cast my mind back to my somewhat disturbing revenge, my thoughts then revert to that night in the safehouse, where he...I honestly still can't talk about it. There was no reason for him to do what he did, though he claims he did it to knock me down a peg or two. And I did the same to him, though my mind wasn't entirely stable which makes my situation all the more disturbing.

...I just remembered which part of our ordeals I perfectly emulated. It may have been almost two years ago but I feel dirty all over again right now. Don't get worried about waking Aniki up, just focus on getting to the bathroom and washing the returning shame off your hand. However, I've ended up running to another part of the bathroom first as I almost rip off the toilet seat in lifting it up, I...

…

...I don't feel too well.

…

Ugh...all this remembering seems to have brought on a momentary lapse of sickness as a gush of bile ejects itself from my body. At least having to clean the toilet might take my mind off things if only for a little while. Now if I remember rightly, the cleaner's tucked away in the corner with the brush...damn. I'm still slightly shaking from my sudden vomiting so I've only gone and dropped the bottle of cleaner. Luckily the cap has stayed on and kept the liquid in so I can quickly pick it up without too much fuss.

Ugh...the smell of this cleaner is so strong that I might as well be...oh dear. Quick, fingers, get the lid back up because I think my body decided that it's time for Round 2, though what my body thinks my opponent is is another story as all I can bring back up is more bile inbetween my pained heaving; some would accuse me of being overdramatic but the heaving really helps with the process and the pain.

"Fabio...are you ok?"

Upon turning around, I notice that Aniki's staring at me in this rather concerned matter; his eyes then diverting their attention to the bottle of cleaner I've left capped and standing on the bathroom floor, there's a little confusion in his concern.

"Why are you trying to clean the toilet at two in the morning?"

I'm not too surprised at him asking that question; I've already wiped the little bit of bile from the corner of my mouth so it's not obvious that I've been sick. I could have just had a rather tough time in the downstairs department or, if my name was Enzo Romero (which its not, thank dio), just whipping up a fresh batch of 'special sauce'. Si, Enzo has been known for having a wank at two in the morning.

"Wait, I smell sick and shame," Aniki says, sighing as he shoots me a rather sympathetic look. "You've had 'it' on your mind again, haven't you?"

He's always known how to read me, even before we became friends-turned-lovers-turned-married. He's just one of those people who knows how to read you without knowing a single thing about you; heck, he correctly declared Tino a 'humanitarian' as soon as he got off that plane from Tokyo, and never treated it like a bad or evil thing...well, until he realised Tino had this thing against the Japanese, which was almost immediately when both Enzo and Griezzo had to explain why it took two of them to hold him back. Still, I think we're all glad that they settled their differences and are at least amiable with each other, even if it took a mistaken national identity in Tino's past to cause it. It's now the South Koreans he holds the grudges against but that's a different story for another time.

Dio, I got so caught up in my thoughts that I forgot that Aniki's still looking at me, still awaiting an answer, though if the look on his face means anything then he already knows that the answer is 'si'. Though it's soon my turn for an answer with a particularly burning question on my mind.

"Why...why did I do it, Aniki?"

Aniki sighs once more, seeming as if he's not sure what to say. I don't blame him, judging by what I heard, I would be disturbed to kingdom come by my actions aswell. He's looking at his feet though we both perfectly know that they're never going to magically gain sentience and give us an answer (that would be an amusing thing to watch though). He opens his mouth at one point, as if he really is about to give a meaningful answer, but then closes it again with a look of pure reluctance on his face. The more time he takes with this answer, the sicker I begin to feel once more though all wants of vomiting disappear just like that when Aniki suddenly has his arm around me.

"Because trauma does things to a person," he begins to explain, then gently rubbing the top part of my arm with his hand. "Things we can't explain and may never fully understand. What's happened has happened and it has helped to shape today."

"Well I wish it hadn't!"

At this very moment, there's nervous sweat dripping down my forehead and tears welling in my eyes as I stare Aniki squarely in the face after my somewhat frustrated response. I can feel my body slightly shaking from my burst of rage, well, rage or the horrible fact that I need to be sick again. Enough vomiting and the guys will be begging me to put the weight back on, I'm sure of it.

"I wish it hadn't, Aniki," I say, repeating my point as I just about manage to keep eye contact with his genuinely worried stare. "I'm just lucky that Don didn't try to shove me into the Asylum the morning after."

"They wouldn't have taken you," he replies, rather neutrally and obviously not trying to make any sort of joke but it's still annoying all the same. "The doctor can't stand us Mafia types, she'd rather commit seppukku before helping a Montana."

"That's not what I meant."

Luckily my tone opts for one of deep annoyance rather than straight-up and 'pissy'. It's way too early in the morning to be yelling like a whiny schoolgirl anyway.

"Ok, ok," Aniki responds, seeming a little rattled. "Just calm down or you might make yourself sick again."

At this point, he's gotten his hands on my shoulders but he's thinking twice about shaking me incase that's what knocks me sick and sends me on Round 3 of this whole situation. However, my stomach seems to have calmed down now, even though my mindset is still as frantic as ever.

"I think I'm going to go downstairs for a glass of water," I say, slowly and deliberately, as if I feel my tone will rub off onto Aniki and hopefully calm him down too. I don't care about the million inquiries I'll get and the shake of the heads from those convinced that I've been secretly eating again, but it's the walk I'm more concerned about. It's not the longest walk in the world but the trip down the stairs will be enough to help me get my head straight.

I know my way around the kitchen well enough to warrant not switching the light on but it already seems to be on as I enter the kitchen. Hefty electricity bills mean nothing to our riches but it's still electricity wasted.

I turn on the tap, feeling the first drips of water splash onto my fingers before thrusting my glass under the flow and filling it about halfway. Well I don't want to drink too much or else I'll be dashing to the toilet again before I know it, though what I don't know is that I'm not the only one in the kitchen. So it comes as a bit of a shock to me when the other person finally makes themselves known.

"What are you up to, Fabio?"

Phew...it's only Orenichi, though that now raises the question of what SHE of all people is doing down here. She's not the secret snacker type, but then they once said that about me.

"Just pouring myself a glass of water," I reply, nodding in her direction. "Really thirsty, plus the water from the bathroom is rather..."

"Iya?"

Not the exact word I'd use but I give a nod all the same. Orenichi's still got the same slight smile on her face as I begin to drink what's in my glass, our eye contact never breaking as she continues to stare and I continue to drink but it isn't awkward or malicious. It's more a look of curiosity if anything, and justifiable to some degree.

The water's almost finished now as I tilt my head back to force the last few trickles into me. Maybe 'iya' is the best word to describe this, if 'iya' is Japanese for disgusting or gross...which I think it actually is.

"...that didn't make me feel better at all," I complain. I must be looking rather rough because Orenichi's just given me a rather friendly and genuine hug.

"I feel worse than when you had the...you know. The miscarriage."

"That wasn't your fault," Orenichi replies, sounding really sympathetic as she puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. "It was never your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened."

"But I gave you and Aniki such a hard time when you fell pregnant," I reply, feeling even more and more guilty with each second.

"You had a right to. He's helped you so much, especially through such a hard time that brought you together, and my pregnancy must have seemed like my way of muscling in."

I can't help smiling back at her at this point. She's always been so kind and understanding when it came to family matters...Hiro would have been such a lucky man. What am I saying? He was a lucky man to have met her. And I bet he kept saying to her just as Aniki keeps saying it to me.

"Nearly two years," she then says, sounding as if she's not sure that she should be saying it. "Many things would seem like a distant memory."

"Some acts are powerful enough to stay with you forever," I reply, just about managing to make eye contact with her.

"Only so much can stay with you forever," Orenichi responds, once again wearing a smile on her face. "What you have to do is make new lasting memories to overwrite the ones in your head. Just let life take its course and you'll have new memories in that brain of yours before you know it."

"You sound like Frida," I comment, but of course I don't mean anything bad by it. How can I when I can feel myself smiling as if everything's alright with my little world for once? Orenichi's right. I gotta stop letting the past get to me by living the present to its fullest.

But, what if life taking its course means something even worse than the previous two incidents? They do say third time lucky and that may apply to a cruel fate that has something in store for me that could finally tip me over the edge for good...no. Stop overthinking it, Fabio Giuseppe Capone. Get to bed. As Enzo once said, a man's bed is one of the last bastions of his Italian-American freedom and safety (well, purely Italian for me since I was born in Sicily). Or was that the bathroom? Either way, _bed_. _Now_.

-

"Kissu?"

Nodding, I find myself blushing a little as Aniki kisses my cheek. It's been almost three years and I still don't fully understand how the male on male relationship can work. But it does, especially with us, and now Aniki's looking at me like he wants something and...don't be thinking dirty, per favore. He simply wants me to return the favour, to give him a kiss on his cheek.

But as I go to kiss his cheek, I can suddenly feel his hand on the top of my thigh, slowly lowering down as his fingertips nearly brush past my...

…

...it's happening again, isn't it? Except this time it's the Palace, a place where my fellow family keep each other safe. Am I not safe anywhere in this city? I have always fancied a move to Polchadie-Golgovine in all honesty, I heard the weather's so nice in summer that it's worth the potential blizzards in the winter. But why would I care, being frozen for fifty years meant that the cold means nothing to me now, just like this relationship if he thinks he can get away with that even after all the time that passed and...breathe. _BREATHE_...I can't I can't I can't I can't-

"Fabs!"

Aniki's staring at me with this look of terrified panic on his face that's not too different to my own pained expression. I think it's safe to say that he's realised what exactly happened, and in his stillness I can now feel myself shaking. At any other time, I could blame some sort of muscle spasm or someone walking over my grave but this moment is too precise, too specific.

"I'm so sorry," Aniki begins, guilt seeming to close his throat up as he has to clear it here and there. "I wasn't thinking, truly I wasn't."

"It's...it's ok," I reply, finding it surprisingly easy to look him in the eye. I even feel a smile forming on my face from how ridiculous it all really has been and to be fair, it was only an accidental brush. Well here's an accidental kiss, see how you like it...and the surprised yet pleased look on his blushing face makes it obvious that he likes, no, _loves_ it and that he loves me.

I love him too. And no crazy incident or stupid rumour will make me believe otherwise. Wait, was that even the main point of this? Who cares. I sure as sure don't, except if it's about him. And the best part is that I know he cares about me too.

And if the last three years have proved anything...I guess it means that my cloud forever has a purple, Japanese lining.


End file.
